Can yucky fried Chicken be good

Ok so we Know you might have a desire to hate the Moon Man, but let me assure you he is harmless but extremely weird, so try to keep an open Mind.

With regards to the sheep, Herbert had gotten a school loan and he thought buying a small herd of sheep would be a good investment. He bought 25 sheep, but he needed to move them from 1 side of the state to another, well it would cut drasticly into his school m oney to hire a truck so he took the seats out of his Volvo and moved them 3 at a time from 1 far side of Massachesetts to the far other. I just happened to be traveling down the interstate and saw him cruising slowly and weaving all over the road. I sped up to see if it was in fact hime and saw 3 sheep in the car, looking out the windows,,,well obviously I had to ask him what he was doing. He pulled off at a rest stop and decided maybe the sheep needed a rest too, so out pour 3 sheep and him sitting on a crate. He herded the sheep over to the place for dogs to break, and I said what the hell are you doing? He said he was just moving his herd to the farm for winter. I like so many other travelers were stuck mouth agape like they had been hit by lightening, watching him try to herd sheep at a rest stop. He said he was going to try 7 trips with 3 and 1 with 4. Who was I to argue with the math.

The next bizarre occurence was when I was leasurely driving up a country road when I passed his car run off road, the tail end ass up and smoke pouring out the front. I turned around, and pulled over to see how bad he was hurt. To my amazement he was cooking a chicken in the middle of no where in a ditch. I asked uh are you cooking something to eat? He said yea I was going up here to see about some hay for my sheep and this chicken hauler was in my way and a chicken got out and the guy in front of me ran over it, so I thought hey lunch. Again I realized the power of human survival. He had a 4 way lug wrench on some rocks and a fire going and had pulled most of the feathers out and was grilling the bird on the wrench.

Lost contact

Now that I am fully acclimated to your earth ways let me tell you my story as an Earthling, so call me Boss Man Houston Massuh Sir, no that's not appropriate, just call me,,,Houston. So I have arrived found my point of contact, The Moon Man and have successfully accomplished my disguises as a Natural born Earth creature of the 20th century. I'm in college, have my own room close to the Moon Man and continuing my research. I have acquired all the colloquialisms and mannerisms of a college student successfully, but I cannot communicate with the Mother Ship because the Moon Man has stolen my hidden communicator. For example once I was visiting the Moon Man in his room and dropped a $20 dollar bill out of my pocket, the Moon Man saw it as I did out of the corner of my eye and instantly he slammed his size 10 wide shoe on the bill to hide it from me. He has a propensity for theft as a means of survival. Seeing this I asked him if he saw a $20 fall around here, he looked at me with innocent eyes and said nope, didn't see it. I knew he was standing on it so I tried to get him to move over to the window to reveal my $20. I said oh my gawd there's a gorgeous girl out here with her top off, come here and look. He wouldn't move. As a Last resort I just shoved him over and he said wow a twenty, I was looking for that. Of course I knew...
Over time many of his peculiar aspects of personality were revealed to me. We were in a Astrophysics course and of course I didn't need the text book, I saw Herbert many times in the student study center reading the book because naturally,,,free coffee. I asked him "burning the midnight oil"? He said "yea ya know I'm dyslexic and it's kinda hard for me to grasp this stuff". I said, " he no problem, but just as a way to help there is a Astrophysics Lab and that is where all the answers are to the tests". He said " yea but it's on the other side of the campus and beside they watch you real close in there". I said yea they're there to help, he said yea but I got caught trying to take that big 14' Gold DVD,,uh I was just going to watch it in me room. I of course laughed and said oh you have a DVD player that plays 14' DVD's. He laughed and said well it's gold aint it?

I am sure he read that book cover to cover twice but retained almost nothing, at the end of the course we walked to the Professor's door to see our grades posted on the door. They are posted by a code and mine was at the top of the list, I had made an A+ he had failed. He fumed at me and said let's go outside. I thought he wanted air because he was furious about his failure, we got outside and he threw down his books took his shirt off and said to me, I'm gonna kick your ass, giggling I said why Herb. He said you SOB, you never bought or read the book and you made a A+, I read the book twice and failed? Of course what could I say but, apparently. He was so furious he walked away without his books, which he carried like a side arm to prove in some mysterious way, he was a serious student.
What an interesting

specimen,
this character was, on winter break he had rented a farm house in the country, for $25 dollars a month, honestly. Let me take this time to tell you that everything I say about The Moon Man is true 100%, that's what makes this such an interesting story. So I get this call from him as a phone was included in this farm deal he had conjured. He told me he needed help, he was stuck frozen in mud on the farm and needed to be pulled out. Off I went to a rescue mission. Having Mutated my VW/spacecraft into a truck, I took some chains and ropes and a ":come a long" which is a sort of winch. When I got there he was in great spirits. But I thought something was terribly wrong since the entire house was filled with smoke. He told me not to worry he had a fire going to keep warm. I entered the living room to find no furniture but a wall of yogurt to the ceiling, every flavor Known to man. He had been dumpster diving again. He had other goodie treasures, a wall of frozen milk and Orange juice against the front windows. It was hard to see exactly what was in there because of the smoke. I was coughing and hacking, he said you might want to get down on the floor to breathe
since the smoke is not so bed down here, he was crawling and so I followed. To my amazement when I got into the dining room he had chopped a hole all the way through to the roof to allow smoke out. He had a 55 gallon drum under the hole and was burning rail road ties to keep warm. He said here sit on the mattress here under the smoke, if you bend down you can still breathe. I couldn't believe it.. Then to my surprise he asked me if I wanted something to eat, my curiosity was more hungry than my stomach so I said sure what ya got. He replied, how about some grilled Lamb. I said wow you have grilled lamb, he grabbed an axe and said let me show you. So off we went trudging through snow to the middle of a field, and there under the snow lie a frozen lamb, to my utter bewilderment he dug out with his unprotected hands a a black lamb shank. He patiently chopped it off like some barbaric ritual in outer space or in frozen cave man time. He calmly took it inside and threw it on the burning fire in the dining room, like some city dwelling Nenderthalthal. When he had opened the back door most of the smoke had gone up and out the roof. I just sat down on his spread bed on the floor close to the burning fur in the drum, and felt lucky to be alive, I guess...

Earth Humor Men on the MOON

hahahahahahahahahaha

first Contact

Stardat; 02141985 2:09 AM, Break away from Mother ship and land in a secluded place called Garberville California, seeking Herbert M Mullins, AKA The Moon Man. Discover he is a student at Stanford University, studying arts and crafts in Fine arts Department, disguise space craft as ordinary looking flying earth machine and appear in Massachusetts.

I altered my appearance to look alike the students at Stanford appropriately as a long haired bearded young man. I found Herbert in the cafeteria, He was pretending to be a bus boy to eat the scraps off girls plates. Earthling girls have a habit of eating little to keep slim so as to maintain thin bodies to make their breasts seem to be larger for the mating ritual. The Moon Man was acting as if a perfect gentleman, taking trays from everyone, but secretly eating and stashing food in pockets and bags for later consumption. I went up to the cafeteria line and purchased a "lunch special" which contained on a plate some mystery protein a choice of 2 plant products and a medium drink of mysterious beverage called "Mountain Dew". I wasted no time and headed directly to the moon man, I acted weak and asked him if he would care to have my food. He agreed and I had made first contact.

He consumed the food with a great gusto as if he had been starving, we talked about insignificant things and he realized I was a creature of no harm. His eyes never met mine he watched everyone food around him and got up often to grab rolls or plant products from when humans left food on the table. After eating more than I had understood the great lions of Africa could consume he asked me if I''d like to go back to his room and smoke something called "Dope", as I had studied everything about this strange world and knowing this was a way to bond with new humans at that time I agreed. We walked the short distance to his "Dorm Room", inside he performed many rituals of college life in "Dorms". He started burning a stone called Frankincense and stuffed towels under the door. I took it to disguise the smell of Dope from escaping, he brought out a plastic bag and a plastic smoke inhaler called a "Bong". He filled it with H20 and the greenish plant, he made a weak fire from a flint and stone device filled with butane and inhaled the smoke from the burning plant, he coughed and handed it to me, of course I pretended to but did not inhale as the leaders of this country do not either.

After many "bong fulls The Moon Man asked me if I was hungry, I was in disbelief, he was a very slim being but had consumed approximately 2 kilograms of food, but to not anger him I said yes I am. He asked me if I had a mode of conveyance, I had converted my personal spacecraft into the appearance of a "59 Volkswagen, which was a good disguise I thought. He said, "I know where there are some dumpsters with day old doughnuts, and we can smoke a joint on the way". I just said sure.

We proceeded out and he rolled a "Joint" in my disguised spacecraft. He smoked on the joint and sometimes handed me some, of course I pretended... He directed me to a place called "Kroger's" where he directed me to the back where a giant metal depository lay. He seemed to know the exact time that it was filled with a wide
assortment of consumables. He climbed in through a side opening and pulled out containers of Milk, Orange juice, yogurt but no "Doughnuts". I asked him about the doughnuts and he said they'll be here. he continued digging in the "Dumpster" as a white dressed man came out to throw away several large boxes of bread and doughnuts. He hit the moon man with a box and he yelled out "HEY"! The man said"what the hell are you doing in there"? The Moon Man stuck his head out and laughed and told him, "we're students and we are hungry", the man seemed to take some pity on us and said "wait here". Soon out he came with fresh bread, the magical "Doughnuts" and a wide assortment of earth goodies called pastries. The Moon Man took them and the man said "there are 2 boxes there share 1 with you friend". All seemed fine and generous and I thanked the Human for the "bakery" goods. The man said you are welcome and disappeared into the Kroger's. The Moon Man wasted no time in stashing the goods in the back of my disguised spacecraft and jumped back in to retrieve yet still more Goodies. I was surprised to find the Moon Man was disappointed because he had seen some "bear claws" in the dumpster that he must have. I waited patiently as he fumbled through everything, suddenly the same white clothed Human came out again with more boxes of things to deposit in the container, to his surprise, The Moon Man was back in it, and The white dressed man appeared to be angry. He said, " I gave you fresh baked goods and you still want that garbage". Herbert as I called him was quick to fire back, "Well you didn't give us any bear claws". The man seemed to be in a state of disbelief and dismay. He yelled out get your skinny ass outta here, you damn maniac. The Moon Man disappointed, agreed.

After we returned to the Dorm he started slipping a rope through the handles of the OJ and milk and hung it out the window in the fashion of the ritual known as Christmas decorations, when I asked he told me the out of doors was like 1 big refrigerating unit to him; Is it not conceivable to you now, why I was sent here to study this most strange or Earth creatures?

The Moon Man consequently invited me to stay in the dorm, since in our conversations I had mentioned I was a "Traveller" and had come to here from California. Knowing the Moon Man was fond of "Dope" and just to fit in, I told him I needed to get some clothes out of my "VW" and after converting it back to a conventional looking Earth flying conveyance made a light speed trip to California to get the only material he seemed to like more than food.

I flew to California and acquired some "dope" at light speed, as of consequence he enjoyed so much he told me I could find work as a "painter" at Stanford and could get not only a room of my own but enroll as a student there, which as it turned out was the best way to monitor the Moon Man and his bizarre habits, even to Earthlings...

I had acquired a job and shelter and was accepted as a student human. I had to take a test for intelligence called a CLEP test, which meant College level entrance program. I strategically had a good grade, but not too suspiciously high. I had gotten a score equal to 5th year in college, which caused me some disturbing but humorous trouble with the Moon Man.

Earthlings are given rewards of Money for going to college and I received to "Grants consecutively. Plus some other grant that paid for the college and the books. This disturbed the Moon Man repeatedly as he was not as intelligent to receive but an ordinary grant for his college. This bothered him many. times as he was apparently of low self esteem, but he was very adept at something called stealing and lying.

Truthfully I was here on Earth to learn about all human life but as my superiors recognized, The Moon Man was 1 of the most interesting, as you will see...



EARTH Humor Men on The Moon