first Contact

Stardat; 02141985 2:09 AM, Break away from Mother ship and land in a secluded place called Garberville California, seeking Herbert M Mullins, AKA The Moon Man. Discover he is a student at Stanford University, studying arts and crafts in Fine arts Department, disguise space craft as ordinary looking flying earth machine and appear in Massachusetts.

I altered my appearance to look alike the students at Stanford appropriately as a long haired bearded young man. I found Herbert in the cafeteria, He was pretending to be a bus boy to eat the scraps off girls plates. Earthling girls have a habit of eating little to keep slim so as to maintain thin bodies to make their breasts seem to be larger for the mating ritual. The Moon Man was acting as if a perfect gentleman, taking trays from everyone, but secretly eating and stashing food in pockets and bags for later consumption. I went up to the cafeteria line and purchased a "lunch special" which contained on a plate some mystery protein a choice of 2 plant products and a medium drink of mysterious beverage called "Mountain Dew". I wasted no time and headed directly to the moon man, I acted weak and asked him if he would care to have my food. He agreed and I had made first contact.

He consumed the food with a great gusto as if he had been starving, we talked about insignificant things and he realized I was a creature of no harm. His eyes never met mine he watched everyone food around him and got up often to grab rolls or plant products from when humans left food on the table. After eating more than I had understood the great lions of Africa could consume he asked me if I''d like to go back to his room and smoke something called "Dope", as I had studied everything about this strange world and knowing this was a way to bond with new humans at that time I agreed. We walked the short distance to his "Dorm Room", inside he performed many rituals of college life in "Dorms". He started burning a stone called Frankincense and stuffed towels under the door. I took it to disguise the smell of Dope from escaping, he brought out a plastic bag and a plastic smoke inhaler called a "Bong". He filled it with H20 and the greenish plant, he made a weak fire from a flint and stone device filled with butane and inhaled the smoke from the burning plant, he coughed and handed it to me, of course I pretended to but did not inhale as the leaders of this country do not either.

After many "bong fulls The Moon Man asked me if I was hungry, I was in disbelief, he was a very slim being but had consumed approximately 2 kilograms of food, but to not anger him I said yes I am. He asked me if I had a mode of conveyance, I had converted my personal spacecraft into the appearance of a "59 Volkswagen, which was a good disguise I thought. He said, "I know where there are some dumpsters with day old doughnuts, and we can smoke a joint on the way". I just said sure.

We proceeded out and he rolled a "Joint" in my disguised spacecraft. He smoked on the joint and sometimes handed me some, of course I pretended... He directed me to a place called "Kroger's" where he directed me to the back where a giant metal depository lay. He seemed to know the exact time that it was filled with a wide
assortment of consumables. He climbed in through a side opening and pulled out containers of Milk, Orange juice, yogurt but no "Doughnuts". I asked him about the doughnuts and he said they'll be here. he continued digging in the "Dumpster" as a white dressed man came out to throw away several large boxes of bread and doughnuts. He hit the moon man with a box and he yelled out "HEY"! The man said"what the hell are you doing in there"? The Moon Man stuck his head out and laughed and told him, "we're students and we are hungry", the man seemed to take some pity on us and said "wait here". Soon out he came with fresh bread, the magical "Doughnuts" and a wide assortment of earth goodies called pastries. The Moon Man took them and the man said "there are 2 boxes there share 1 with you friend". All seemed fine and generous and I thanked the Human for the "bakery" goods. The man said you are welcome and disappeared into the Kroger's. The Moon Man wasted no time in stashing the goods in the back of my disguised spacecraft and jumped back in to retrieve yet still more Goodies. I was surprised to find the Moon Man was disappointed because he had seen some "bear claws" in the dumpster that he must have. I waited patiently as he fumbled through everything, suddenly the same white clothed Human came out again with more boxes of things to deposit in the container, to his surprise, The Moon Man was back in it, and The white dressed man appeared to be angry. He said, " I gave you fresh baked goods and you still want that garbage". Herbert as I called him was quick to fire back, "Well you didn't give us any bear claws". The man seemed to be in a state of disbelief and dismay. He yelled out get your skinny ass outta here, you damn maniac. The Moon Man disappointed, agreed.

After we returned to the Dorm he started slipping a rope through the handles of the OJ and milk and hung it out the window in the fashion of the ritual known as Christmas decorations, when I asked he told me the out of doors was like 1 big refrigerating unit to him; Is it not conceivable to you now, why I was sent here to study this most strange or Earth creatures?

The Moon Man consequently invited me to stay in the dorm, since in our conversations I had mentioned I was a "Traveller" and had come to here from California. Knowing the Moon Man was fond of "Dope" and just to fit in, I told him I needed to get some clothes out of my "VW" and after converting it back to a conventional looking Earth flying conveyance made a light speed trip to California to get the only material he seemed to like more than food.

I flew to California and acquired some "dope" at light speed, as of consequence he enjoyed so much he told me I could find work as a "painter" at Stanford and could get not only a room of my own but enroll as a student there, which as it turned out was the best way to monitor the Moon Man and his bizarre habits, even to Earthlings...

I had acquired a job and shelter and was accepted as a student human. I had to take a test for intelligence called a CLEP test, which meant College level entrance program. I strategically had a good grade, but not too suspiciously high. I had gotten a score equal to 5th year in college, which caused me some disturbing but humorous trouble with the Moon Man.

Earthlings are given rewards of Money for going to college and I received to "Grants consecutively. Plus some other grant that paid for the college and the books. This disturbed the Moon Man repeatedly as he was not as intelligent to receive but an ordinary grant for his college. This bothered him many. times as he was apparently of low self esteem, but he was very adept at something called stealing and lying.

Truthfully I was here on Earth to learn about all human life but as my superiors recognized, The Moon Man was 1 of the most interesting, as you will see...



EARTH Humor Men on The Moon